Thursday, September 9, 2010

SEC Preview: Sept. 11

Penn State @ Alabama
Line: Alabama -12
A true freshman quarterback heading into T-town at night to face the defending national champions? No. Bama covers the 12-point spread, wins by 14. Tide 31-17.

UL-Monroe @ Arkansas
Line: Arkansas -34
While the Dawgs travel to Columbia for a tough early SEC East test, the Hawgs get another cupcake in preparation for their trip to Athens Sept. 18. Of course, we all know how difficult UL-Monroe can be (see right). Ryan Mallet and his band of receivers rip apart the former directional Louisiana school, over inflating their self esteem heading into Athens. Arkansas 55-13.

LSU @ Vanderbilt
Line: LSU -10
The Tigers tried their damndest to give North Carolina the game at the Georgia Dome last Saturday night. Seems to be a pattern. Thank God for Nashville, where we can only imagine the pregame discussion between Les Miles and Robbie Caldwell. LSU 27-14.

Ole Miss @ Tulane
Line: Ole Miss -20.5
One can only guess that this game was originally scheduled for Oxford, but as punishment, must be played in New Orleans. So much for Admiral Ackbar. I’m just waiting for the Lexington Brothers’ Jacksonville State/Masoli/karma’s-a-bitch song. When was the last time a team lost to Jacksonville State and was favored by more than 20 points the next week? How freakin’ bad is Tulane?!? So bad that Masoli forgets about his plan to escape to Knoxville in an attempt to rejoin his old team. Ole Miss bounces back and actually holds onto a 4th quarter lead in this one, but doesn’t cover. Rebs 35-20.

USF @ Florida
Line: Florida -16
This just in: Florida has fumbled another snap. Tim Tebow would’ve grown a third arm to catch those errant shotgun snaps. But the messiah isn’t there anymore. John Brantley has all the tools to be a great SEC quarterback, but will the Gator faithful allow him to be? I’m sure Meyer has overseen some heart attack-inducing practices this week, and snaps won’t be a problem anymore. Gators get back on track against Skip Holtz’ South Florida Bulls, a typically solid opponent. Boys of Old 41-17.

WKU @ Kentucky
Line: Kentucky -24.5
The Joker Phillips era opened with a nice win over in-state rival Louisville and former Florida DC Charlie Strong. Don’t expect the ‘Cats to be any nicer to another in-state opponent – there’s always basketball recruiting at stake. The transition from Rich Brooks, who approves this message, to Phillips will continue to be a smooth one. Big Blue 38-7.

Oregon @ Tennessee
Line: Oregon -12
The beginning of Derek Dooley’s tenure calmed some nerves in Knoxville with a 50-0 win in Week 1. The Big Orange faithful knows that nothing will suck like one this fall, and they’ve resigned themselves to a rebuilding process as two-thirds of Dooley’s team hadn’t played in Neyland Stadium before last Saturday. Chip Kelley brings his Ducks of Oregon to the checkerboard, and reality on the Volunteer 2010 campaign will set in. The only question here is what shade of green will the Ducks wear. Defending Pac-10 champs 38-14.

1 comment:

Earl said...

JoePa has been summoned to Knoxville, in route to T-town, to teach these punk kid Vols how to shower.

Staph infections?!? Whew. Dooley's problems are larger than originally noted.