Or I'd be okay with these girls telling me how Stafford always beat Tebow...
Friday, October 31, 2008
From Alligator Army...
Georgia-Florida 2008: Final Thoughts
1. Emotion will be high - Florida is still upset over the celebration. Hell, Urban wrote about it in his book and Tebow cried.
2. Florida is fast on offense. We know you have Percy Harvin and Jeff Demps and we know they are fast.
3. Stafford vs. Tebow - Who's the better quarterback?
4. Will either defense step up and make a play?
It doesn't get any bigger that this. The SEC East crown is on the line in Jacksonville.
Give 'em hell Dawgs and get the hell out of that god awful state. We'll leave the light on for you.
Will history repeat itself?
Even More Differences
Since we are talking about some major differences between Georgia and Florida before the WLCOP, 2008 edition, I just thought I'd share what ESPN's "College Football Encyclopedia" has to say about each program's history.
We'll start with the best of course:
Georgia: "Several schools have won national championships and fielded Heisman winners. And these accomplishments go a long way toward making a program eligible for 'elite' status in the universe of college football. But a few teams have gone even further and become iconic. To get to this level, you need to have been coached, at some time, by a man whose name is mythic - like, oh, Pop Warner. You need a stadium that doesn't even have to go by its proper name, so when the team is at home, you could say it plays 'between the hedges.' You need a mascot that everyone in the world recognizes - an English bulldog would do nicely. And you need a war cry that has been appropriated all over the football world but resonates best in the original, 'How bout them Dawgs!'
One team, of course, has all these things and, thus, an undeniable place in the pantheon of college football programs. It is impossible, in short, to imagine college football without the University of Georgia." *
And we'll end with the not-so-good:
Florida: "The story of football at Florida is one of almost Sisyphean frustration. For 80-plus years, the Gators were the Great Big Team That Couldn't - couldn't win the big game, couldn't win the conference championship, couldn't put up an undefeated season (STILL HASN'T DONE THAT), couldn't win a national title.
Until the 1990s, Florida routinely raised the hopes of its faithful fans only to dash them, often in some cruel or unusual way. In 1928, 1966, 1969 and 1985 (those Georgia RBs are still running), the Gators went deep into the season with a shot at the national championship, but came up short." *
Of course, Bear Bryant argued that all Florida needed was the right head man (or so the legend goes). We all know they got him in 1990. But, we also know that college football wasn't invented in 1990.
As the saying goes...
Florida football: The arrogance of Notre Dame with the history of Wake Forest.
Differences, man, differences...
*Courtesy of ESPN's "College Football Encyclopedia"
Thursday, October 30, 2008
Dawgs From France In Jax
Last year, we had the pleasure to become friends with two guys from France named Ben (pictured above on the right) and Flo (left), who were spending the year studying (beer) at UGA.
Ben and Flo tailgated with us at every home game last year and became huge fans of the Georgia Bulldogs. They were pretty bummed that they missed the victory in Jacksonville last year.
So, this year they decided to fly all the way back and come to the Florida game and learn in person how much Florida sucks.
Ben is actually going to be starting an internship at Coke, but decided to fly in a few weeks early to come to the game.
Flo has spent the entire year since the last game in Jax talking about wanting to come. He finally decided to come to the game and just make a week long vacation out of it.
Ben and Flo are badasses for flying all the way from another continent for this game and are showing one hell of a commitment to being Georgia Bulldogs.
If you run into us in Jax, give these two Frenchies a beer! Ladies, they do offer French lessons!
Hate Orange. Hate Blue. Hate Florida.
Only one university can combine north Florida rednecks, complete douchebags and the wonderfully amazing specimen, the guido.
For the most part, the guido is a foreign concept for the rest of the SEC schools. It's not that they don't exist (even though I've rarely seen one for another team), it is just the massive abundance you will find wearing gator shirts. I did see my first guido Georgia fan at Arizona State (wearing a basketball jersey and all), and Earl can tell you how excited I was. Why I did not take a picture, I'll never know.
The guido pipeline of south Florida is primarily responsible for this phenomenon. So, we're left to enjoy ourselves guido free for most of the year (unless you go to East Andrews in Buckhead).
However, each year I come to Florida forgetting about the guidos. I let my guard down every time, only to walk into a bar and see en mass orange and blue guidos yelling at each other and showing off their chests.
Earlier in the week, we were at a sports bar in central Florida and by 10:00 p.m. the place was guido heaven. Fortunately (or unfortunately), they were not gator guidos. I still wanted to blow my brains out, so it's probably a good thing we didn't bring any guns on this trip.
Listening and looking at gator guidos can be torture. The gator chomp is worse when done by guidos and it raises the gator obnoxious level by 1 billion. Gator guidos even make you think more highly of regular gator fans, and you even start to sympathize with them (until you remember they're gators).
Now, not all guidos are bad, just 90% of them.
Beware when you enter Jacksonville this weekend; you might think you're in New Jersey or Miami when you see the gator guidos. Don't let the gelled spiky hair, raging muscles, and side shaved heads fool you, you’re indeed in Jacksonville at a football game in the SEC.
Hate Orange. Hate Blue. Hate Florida.
New Orleans is the only city where it's okay to play a piano in the middle of the street.
Friday, C-Matt and I began our 10 day Tour de Gulf Coast 2008 journey by heading to Nawlins.
Streit, Bubba, BFR, and several other friends had left Thursday to begin the celebration of Melissa taking Streit off of our hands.
I've got to give props to Streit. He agreed to a road trip with seven assholes who were going to berate him the entire time and force him to imbibe massive amounts. He took his punishments well (I'm sure whooping LSU helped).
After arrivng Friday night, we immediately began conquering the french quarter and Bourbon Street, with C-Matt leading the charge with a hand grenade in each hand.
At one point, we did run into a gang of Bama fans and some Oklahoma State students. You'll run into just about anyone on Bourbon Street, including a clown that gives out change (I'm not joking).
THE RIDE TO BATON ROUGE
Saturday morning our group of eight woke up and went to Harrah's to jump on a party bus to Baton Rouge.
Riding a bus with 60+ Dawgs, drinking some beers and not having to worry about driving sounds like an awesome enough of a time.
However, this bus ride was absolutely amazing. Vince Dooley, Larry Munson, and Pulpwood Smith were on our bus in the form of a very funny guy who does dead on impressions.
My life is better for having been on that bus. Not only was he dead on (especially with Dooley), he started telling some stories, embellishing them, and then just making up stuff that was absolutely hilarious.
My favorite line was at the end of Dooley talking about the 1980 national championship:
"Notre Dame's coach at the time was Dan Devine, and Dan and I spent a number of evenings together smoking crack cocaine."
We also took a back road to Baton Rouge that made me feel like I was driving to Auburn down Wire Road.
Mr. Bus Driver, there's no need to rush! I already have beverages here!
We arrived in Baton Rouge about 3 hours before game time. From the second we got off of the bus we heard, "TIGER BAIT! TIGER BAIT!" with fingers pointing at us. I must have heard it a minimum of 18,000 times.
Despite it getting old, I did like how the entire fan base was shouting it at every fan.
The biggest surprise were the fans. I've never had bad experiences with LSU fans, aside from their massive obnoxiousness.
Maybe we didn't get the full brunt because it wasn't a night game, but I have never been to a place with more generous fans. Within 5 minutes of walking off the bus, we were being offered free food, beer, shots, and games of beer pong.
At one tailgate, a group of LSU fans had a beer funnel with 8 hoses and insisted that every DAWG take a stab. Then, they proceed to hug all of us.
We also tailgated with some ladies of a different persuasion. They had an awesome spread of food, great shots, and they were professionals at beer pong.
We also saw confederate flags that were purple and gold. LSU fans will change anything and everything to purple and gold if you let them.
If we make everything purple and gold, we can say it is ours!
DARRYL GAMBLE IS GOD! DARRYL GAMBLE IS GOD! DARRYL GAMBLE IS GOD!
It did not seem that Death Valley was as loud as it was cracked up to be, except during the middle of the 3rd quarter. It could be because it was an afternoon game or it could be due to the fact that we were sitting in the upper deck. LSU's upper deck is not really directly connected to the rest of the stadium, so that might have been the problem.
VICTORY BUS AND NEW ORLEANS
After yelling Tiger Bait at LSU fans so that they could have a taste of their own medicine, we got back to the bus and headed to New Orleans. Pulpwood continued to entertain the entire bus and eventually it turned into a drunk gator bashing good time.
There's nothing like walking into a major opponents' stadium and just kicking their ass. This is especially true when you're celebrating on a bus that's driving to the debauchery capital of the USA.
Arriving in New Orleans, we took over Pat O'Brien's with the rest of the Dawg family until the late hours of the morning.
On Sunday, C-Matt and I stayed in New Orleans and ran into an old LSU fan at Preservation Hall. This awesome guy proceeded to tell us that his son was a "typical gator." We met his son later, and he indeed was a typical gator. He also said his daughter was worthless because she went to Florida State. This guy ruled. I love cajuns.
C-Matt and I left New Orleans mid-afternoon on Monday and stopped in Gainesville to tell them how much they suck.
We've been in Florida all week helping to destroy the Jean Short Nation.
See you in Jaaksawnville!
Hate Orange. Hate Blue. Hate Florida.
"The Annual Celebration of the Repeal of Prohibition"
God Is a Bulldog
Jacksonville, Fla. - Dorsey Hill, the world's biggest Bulldog fan, left here Sunday afternoon, bound for Auburn, Alabama, where Georgia's undefeated football team next appears.
"I don't think you can get from Jacksonville to Auburn," I had said to him.
"You can change buses in Waycross and Columbus," Dorsey answered.
"You aren't going home first?"
"Home?" He screamed back. "I haven't worked since Texas A&M, and I haven't slept since Clemson. You expect me to go back home when we play Auburn in only six more days?"
I lost my head, I suppose.
A lot of people lost their heads here Saturday afternoon. Georgia played Florida. Georgia won the game, 26-21. It's a lot more complicated than that, however.
Georgia came into the game ranked second in the nation. To continue to compete for its first Big Banana ever, the national championship, Georgia had to continue its winning streak. Florida ( "bunch of swamp lizards and beach bums," according to Dorsey Hill), wanted to step on Georgia's dream.
Dorsey arrived here Thursday afternoon with thousands of others who made the early departure south from various points in Georgia. Many of those individuals were as drunk as five eyed owls by the time they reached the Florida line.
As local wit Rex Edmondson says, the Georgia-Florida game is the "annual celebration of the repeal of prohibition."
Dorsey waited until Friday to get into his serious pre-game drinking, however.
"I stopped at the New Perry Hotel Thursday for lunch and filled up on collards," he said. "It's hard to drink on a belly full of collards."
Now that I have had time to digest all that did eventually happen in college football Saturday, I think I can say without fear of charges of blasphemy that the whole thing was a religious experience. "Deacon Dan" Magill, the "Baptist Bulldog," read a prayer to the Georgia faithful in which he beseeched the Almighty to help the Bulldogs "smite the Florida Philistines."
Then there was the game itself. Georgia behind 21-20, ninety-three yards away, time running out.
"We need a miracle!" screamed Dorsey Hill, now fortified with more than collards.
Georgia got its miracle. Buck Belue to Lindsay Scott, for ninety-three yards and the winning touchdown with only seconds remaining.
If that wasn't enough, there was the astounding news from Atlanta. Georgia Tech had tied No.1 Notre Dame. Surely, Georgia will be ranked first in America when the ratings are released.
"A tie was a gift from Heaven," said Dorsey. "Notre Dame gets knocked out of number one but Tech doesn't get a win. God is a Bulldog."
I must make one confession here. I did it, and I must suffer the consequences.
I gave up at Jacksonville Saturday afternoon. Florida had the ball. Florida had the lead. There was only three minutes to play. I left the stadium. I was in the street when the miracle came.
"You are a gutless disgrace," Dorsey Hill said to me later.
He detailed my punishment: "We're going to a tattoo parlor in this very town tonight," he began. "And you're going to have '26' tattooed on one of your cheeks in red. And you're going to have '21' tattooed in black on the other cheek. I don't want you to forget what you did."
I won't, but which cheeks is between me and the tattooist.
BulldawgJosh and Bubba's 80's Music Video of the Week
Kool & The Gang - Celebration
Uploaded by Kool-and-the-Gang
The Bubba "N Earl Theme for this week: Celebrate with a Cocktail at the Cocktail Party. As Bulldog Nation looks back at the last year and the memorable highlights of that time, it was arguably all sparked by the monumental endzone dance that took place at the World's Largest Outdoor Cocktail Party. With Cocktails and Celebrations being the theme of this post, we give you a clip from the 1988 Tom Cruise classic, Cocktail:
We hope to see everyone on St. Simons tonight and in Jacksonville Saturday.
Pulpwood On Florida
Wednesday, October 29, 2008
These Days There's Dudes Gettin' Facials
A lot of country music stars, being from the South, like to bring up SEC football players on stage. I've seen this done before, but what could be more appropriate than Brad Paisley bringing Tim Tebow and his boyfriend up on stage to sing "I'm Still a Guy". Looks like Timmy is cheating on Tony Joiner these days. Notice who Paisley points to when he starts singing.
Now, I'm just sayin'...would you rather see that or this great Georgia band that's finally getting some legitimate play all over the country.
Zac Brown Band playing "Chicken Fried" at the Variety Playhouse in Atlanta's Little 5...
Differences, man, differences...
Georgia vs. Florida Highlights
Man, I hate Florida.
Tuesday, October 28, 2008
How'd You Like To Bite My Ass
On our mammoth drive from New Orleans to Orlando, C-Matt and I decided to stop in Gainesville to invade Florida's campus. Having never ventured into the heart of jean short nation, we didn't really know where we were going. It just happened to be that finding Ben Hill Griffin Stadium was quite easy. So, we got to show our true thoughts abut our visit to The Swamp (see above).
Here's a picture of their bullshi-I mean, Bull Gator Plaza and the Bull Gator statue outside of the stadium and the athletic complex. The inscription under the statue said it was in honor of the 2006 national championship.
Well, this is what we thought of that:
This is just step one in the Gainesville beautification initiative.
Weekend Wrap Up: ONE DAY IN THE VALLEY
What an amazing game in Death Valley on Saturday. We arrived at Tiger Stadium expecting to see a hard fought SEC battle that would be won in the trenches. What we got was a shootout that looked a lot like it belonged in the Big XII. Despite the efforts of the Bayou Bengals, the Dawgs kept their focus and left Louisiana with a 52-38 victory.
This was a huge win. The boys were warming up their dance skills for next week.
The Tiger Stadium Experience
- As advertised, a visit to Baton Rouge is everything it is advertised to be. The fans are crazy and definitely make you feel intimidated. If I never have to hear "Tiga' Bait" again, I won't be sad. I also witnessed grown men throwing dog biscuits at us and heard about the LSU cops turning the other way to a man getting beaten on the ground.
- We were on the top row of Tiger Stadium (row FF in section 641) but the view was actually very good. Death Valley is very steep so while you are very high up, you are actually still pretty close to the field.
- The LSU band puts on a great show. It is too bad that their fans seemed to give up on their team in the 3rd quarter. When Georgia took the lead at 38-17, the place began to clear out. The Tigers certainly did not quit, but their fans did.
- Penn State defeated Ohio State and has pretty much guaranteed themselves an undefeated season.- The suddenly hot Virginia Cavaliers knocked off the Bees from the North Avenue Trade school . Tech has tough games with Florida State, Miami and Georgia left on their schedule.
- Oklahoma State gave Texas a run for their money but came up short in the end. That trip to Stillwater to open the season in '09 keeps looking tougher and tougher.
- Alabama beat Tennessee in another ugly game for the Volunteers. Is Fulmer's career at UT going to end without being bowl eligible?
Showdown in Jacksonville
- This may be one of the biggest Georgia-Florida matchups in Cocktail Party history. The Dawgs really got under the skin of the entire Gator nation with the celebration and the beatdown in 2007. The tag line for this year's game: "There Will be Blood"
Sunday, October 26, 2008
In Nawlins, Leave A Message
We'll give you a call later, promise. Gotta head back to Pat O'Briens for now. Hopefully we'll see Pulpwood.