Saturday, September 6, 2008


I saw this in person and it was sick.

Is being this good legal?

More thoughts on the Central Michigan game and the weekend in college football tomorrow.

Friday, September 5, 2008

SEC Weekend Games of Interest: 9/6/2008

Here is a look at the Southeastern Conference games happening Saturday in your neck of the woods:

Southern Mississippi at Alabama Polytechnic Institute: Brett Farve U travels to the Plains coming off of a 51-21 drubbing of UL Lafayette, the most hapless of the UL city schools. New coach Larry Fedora and USM racked up 633 yards of total offense, led by talented Junior TB Damion Fletcher’s 222 yards rushing.

Auburn needed two non-offensive TD’s to take a 17-0 halftime lead against UL Monroe and Tony Franklin’s spread went 13-27 for 85 passing yards. Expect better numbers than that this week with Chris Todd starting at QB and an Auburn victory. Besides, Southern Miss should lose every game this year, just for firing Jeff Bower.

Ole Miss at Wake Forest: The Huston Nutt Show rolls over to Winston-Salem this week and we get to judge two things.

1) What does the ACC have, team wise, at the top of their conference?


2) How competitive can the Mississippites be this season on the road (and ultimately, in the SEC)?

After the Clemson debacle, Wake Forest looks to be the strongest team in the ACC. Veteran Wake QB Riley Skinner is a fiery competitor that is battle tested and Jim Grobe will have his team prepared for a much improved SEC squad (unlike some people named Tommy). They will test the Rebels in all phases of the game and I look for Ole Miss to hang tough. Ultimately, Ole Miss does not have the athletes or depth on defense to stop the Demon Deacons. Look for Wake to pull out a tight game by a solid margin.

Norfolk State at Kentucky: Seriously? Pick UK. In our random pop culture factoid of the week, Paul Hines, the inspiration for Denzel Washington’s portrayal of Coach Herman Boone in Remember the Titans, is a graduate of Norfolk State University.

You're going to remember the night, you got your Butt Whipped by the Wildcats!

Tulane at Alabama: A precedent has been set that Bama likes to lose to weaker opponents from Louisiana at Home:

This picture just doesn't get old

Alabama looks good after their season opening win (they beat Clemson if you didn’t hear) and Steak Shapiro should be on the edge of his seat, talking about food, as Tulane gets waxed in their season opener. No, you can’t watch this one at Stats.

Southeast Louisiana at Mississippi State: Mississippi State looks to exact revenge on another Louisiana based squad to recover from last week’s effort against LA Tech. MSU played solid D last week, holding LA Tech to 243 total yards. I’m sure Sylvester Croom just didn’t anticipate 3 interceptions from sophomore QB Wesley Carroll. Here is the B’NE impersonation of Wesley in the film room last Monday:

Did I do That?

Expect MSU to roll as SE Louisiana won’t have much. MSU must improve week to week or it will be another long year for them in the West.

Arkansas at UL Monroe: Arkansas will be the “visitor” Saturday, but the game is being played at Little Rock’s War Memorial Stadium. The Razorbacks needed two late 4th Quarter touchdowns last week to bring down the mighty WIU Leathernecks. For their sake, let’s hope this was just the team and fans taking this early game for granted. As we said last week, the Warhawks of UL Monroe can be a solid team, capable of toppling major SEC programs (I don’t know if it was mentioned, but they beat Alabama last year. Just in case someone didn’t know, I’m sure there is a picture of the score somewhere). Expect Monroe to play ball control, as WIU did against the Hogs last week. ULM could have a potential W on their hands if they can play better offense than they did against Auburn. Arkansas will continue to struggle running the ball consistently this week and this is too close to call. Keep it respectable Razorbacks, you play in the SW.., I mean SEC. (Officially, I pick the Hogs)

Miami at the University of Florida: The marquee match up this week is easily between the Hurricanes and the Gators. Robert Marve will be making his first career start in the Swamp as Miami tries to win its first road game over a ranked opponent since a 27-7 drubbing of Virginia Tech in October 2005.

Man, who are these guys? They Suck!

Miami has done a great job keeping South Florida athletes on their campus and can match up to Florida as far as physical measurements. Unfortunately, I don’t think Randy Shannon has it between the ears as a major college football coach and it pains me to say that because of his dedication to his Alma Matter. I respect Shannon a lot and think that he is a terrific program guy. You want him on your team as a coach, motivator, and recruiter; however, I don’t think he has the organizational skills or offensive philosophy to dominate at Miami (The man hired Patrick Nix?). The Urban Crier will coach circles around Randy and lead the Gators to a 14-17 point victory. This being said, Miami will play physical and fast D. Look for Florida to struggle again running the ball and to be weak in pass protection. Hawaii was able to get some pressure against the Gators and this could be a good film game for the Georgia coaches down the road.

Enjoy the weekend and have a Beam and Coke. They do a body good.

UGA Preview: Tebow Wears LeFevour Pajamas

The Central Michigan Chippewas visit the Classic City tomorrow. What the hell is a Chippewa, and is there anything it can do to harm a Bulldog? Probably not. Expect Georgia to handle its business this week in a professional fashion. Just as professional as some of the Chippewas at the Michigan State Capitol (above), sans the letter jackets and the pimps and hoes party in the front left.

That being said, Central Michigan does know how to win (see two-time defending MAC champion), and as Coach Richt has said numerous times in the past he'd much rather play a team that's used to losing (maybe like a South Carolina) than a team that knows how to win. However, the Chippewas haven't really gotten over the hump against BCS opponents, losing last season to Kansas 52-7; Purdue 45-22; Clemson 70-14; and a I-AA power North Dakota State 44-14.

We've all heard about how good Dan LeFevour is at quarterback. He's the MAC's version of Tim Tebow in that he can throw and run. In Central Michigan's 31-12 defeat of Eastern Illinois (directional Midwestern schools, you gotta love 'em, don't you know) last week, LeFevour completed 21 of 31 passes for 217 yards and 3 touchdowns in a game that wasn't close (since when does Central Michigan get a warm up opponent?). He should give the Dawgs some problems in the first half, but it will end there.

If only CMU fans could actually spell their QB's name correctly then Tebow might actually wear those pajamas

Coach Rich Rod wishes he had LeFevour running his spread attack at Michigan. Who would you rather have, the MAC's version of Tebow or a quarterback who couldn't hack it at the North Avenue Trade School?

CMU just isn't all LeFevour though. RB Ontario Sneed finished last week with 88 yards on 13 attempts. But I can only imagine Knowshon's or Caleb's or Richard's numbers against Eastern Illinois. So take that for what its worth.
The real reason the Dawgs will run away and hide is CMU's atrocious defense. They gave up 70 points to Clemson. Clemson! How many times did CJ Spiller and James Davis touch the ball in that game? I'm guessing the same number as you, probably not as many as those 9 attempts against Alabama (keep wearing purple, Tammy, the color fits).
Prediction: Georgia 48, CMU 20 (Richt holds it under 50)
The Dawgs will handle their business here and get ready for Columbia. You heard it here: it will get ugly in Columbia. The Cocks usually think they're world beaters at 2-0 (against creampuffs) when they play Georgia. This year, there is zero confidence in Cockaboose land after last night's defeat. Combine that with Georgia's revenge and the USC-Ohio State game being played on the same day.....the Dawgs will be ready.

Thursday, September 4, 2008

Jesse Palmer and The Ocho

I'm watching the South Carolina/Vandy game right now (Go Dores). It is complete torture listening to Chris Fowler, Craig James (you know my opinion on him), and Jesse Palmer. While listening to Jesse Palmer spew garbage from his mouth, he began to remind me of someone, but I could not figure it out. Then, it hit me...

It's like they're the same person! They even work for the same company!

Reactions to Being #2

Well, that was fun while it lasted, wasn’t it? I’m delighted to say that I was in attendance Saturday to hear with my own singular functioning ear (that’s a story I’m sure will surface at some point during our ramblings on this blog…but not now) when the PA announcer at Sanford Stadium proudly introduced the Number one ranked Georgia Bulldogs.

I warned Earl and Streit on the way home that I didn’t think the Dawgs’ performance Between the Hedges would warrant keeping them in the top spot of the polls. Knowing full and well that the pollsters would display their utter disregard for common decency and sportsmanship during this week’s voting, I am not at all surprised that USC jumped two spots to sit at the Apex of college football, previously occupied by our beloved Peach State Doggies. As for the expectations of the voters, both coaches and writers, that a team assert its dominance against a lesser foe by running up the score to unconscionable levels…well, I place that blame squarely on the shoulders of one Steve “Satan Spurrier. The era of the “fun and gun” in Gainesville has shifted the perspective of what makes college football great.

Satan and his minions

Sure, it’s about rivalry, and deep-seated, generational reinforced hatred of one’s arch nemesis (and in the case of the SEC, all schools except Vandy…who usually just doesn’t pose enough of a threat for us to worry about). Sure it’s about the debate over “how much better my team is than yours.” One of the great things about conference play is that a college football fan can puff out his chest and boast about how his team will beat your team by four touchdowns with little risk that your two teams will actually ever have to play each other (especially in the case of the power teams from the Pac-10 and SEC, thanks to the Rose Bowl’s embargo on teams from south of the Mason-Dixon line). I don’t think that leaving in your first-string players for the whole game and completely dominating an inferior team in the first few weeks of non-conference play makes those arguments any more valid. To me it seems that teams who run up the score on the little guys are acting out on a secret inferiority complex and hiding behind the big numbers on the scoreboard. Is USC an inferior team trying to hide something? I don’t think so. They’re as legitimate a #1 as anyone else in the country. They are certainly more likely to finish their schedule undefeated than is Georgia. But maybe it’s the weakness of their schedule that they’re trying to hide with point totals nearing triple digits...

Am I angry that we were ousted from our #1 ranking in both polls even though we won convincingly against a Division I-AA team who may have given “ACC powerhouse” Virginia a run for their money? Not really. I really didn’t want to start at #1 anyway. When you start at the top, the status quo becomes good enough; there’s no incentive for improvement. I want our Dawgs to get better, and better, and better. I want to move up in the polls each week and make whoever sits at the top scared. I’ve said since January that the optimum place for Georgia to start the season would be in the top 5…but behind Florida. I would much rather enter an undefeated Showdown on the St. John’s as an underdog according to the polls than having the bulls eye from our end zone celebration lit up by a great big neon #1 sign hanging over our sideline in Alltel Stadium.

This just never gets old...

I am; however, disappointed in the fickle, knee-jerk reactions of coaches and writers who likely only put the scores of the USC-UVA game and the UGA-GSU game up against each other and picked the biggest margin. Mark Richt has had some great thoughts on running up the score:

“I would say you’re running it up if you’ve got your first-team players in the game with five minutes to go and you’re up by 40. If you’re still throwing bombs, maybe that’s running it up. I think it’s the defense’s job to slow people down anyway.”

And to paraphrase Evil Richt’s position on running up the score: “Who said I haven’t tried to run it up before?!? Maybe we just couldn’t!”

While it may
cost us a spot in the polls here or there, I hope that Georgia remains a classy program with integrity enough to resist the temptation to score as many points as humanly possible in a plot to defile and humiliate the opponent. Unless, of course, that opponent is Florida, Tennessee, Alabama, Auburn, Clemson, South Carolina, LSU, Ohio State, Michigan, Notre Dame, USC…

Wednesday, September 3, 2008


It's happening again. For several years, it had been suppressed by scandals, mediocrity, and being the second best team (an argument can be made they are third), in the wasteland known as the State of Alabama.

But the second coming of their lord has turned Bama fans back into what they have always been: UNBEARABLE.

There is no better word to describe Bama fans. Not only because of the inherent irony, but simply because that is what it is like to listen to them talk about themselves. Whereas Florida fans speak out of pure arrogance and a need to be obnoxious, Bama fans have the most unobjective sense of self pride that exists in our universe.

Nick Saban's ascension to the throne of Houndstoothland has brought this quality of Bama fans back and in full effect like we've never seen. I'm sure it was worse than this in the '60's and '70's. But, they were actually winning national championships back then. Most of them now even forget that they won the '92 title under...some guy that looked like Bear Bryant, so we'll just say it was BEAR, WOO-HAH!

Part of me was quite naive going into this season. I figured the 7-6 season and the multiple embarassments that summed up Bama's 2007 season was a reality check for their fans.


Before the Clemson game was even over, Bama fans were already claiming the national championship in an undefeated season, as well as an unprecedented two Heisman Trophy winners in one year, Jawn Pawkuh Wilsun and Juh-Jones.

Assholes like Kirk Herbstreit only throw gasoline onto this bonfire by stating that Bama has reached their greatness in only the first game of Year 2 of Our Lord Saban, rather than Year 4 or Year 5 (All Praise Saban).

First off, Herbstreit's doing a terrible thing by making Bama fans think they will reach the peak of dominance...ever. They already think they will, giving them a timeline only encourages them even more. Saying it's this year means you're asking for an asteroid of self-importance to blow us all to bits.

Bama fans are already out preaching the gospel on call-in shows. Yes, they are the only team in existence that can reach a level of pure dominance over all others in college football. And, it will last for centuries to come, upon which time our nation will become the United Sabans of Bear's America.

This is the type of dribble we are having to deal with and they've only won one game. By the time they reach the Classic City, it'll be the beginning of AROUND THE BOWL, DOWN THE HOLE, ROLL TIDE ROLL!

Fantasy Football All-Stars: College Edition

As I prepare for my own NFL fantasy football draft, I wonder what would happen if there was a college football fantasy draft. Based upon the results of week one and their past performances, this would be my ideal college football fantasy line-up:

- Dan LeFevour, Central Michigan
LeFevour accounted for over 3,600 yards passing, over 1,100 yard rushing and 45 touchdowns. Plus, his team tends to give up a lot of points quickly, meaning more time on the field for him to pad his stats.
- Tim Tebow, Florida
As much as I hate him, Tebow was accountable for 55 touchdowns in 2007. He is listed as the back up here because I see no way in which Timmy can continue to take the pounding he took last year and stay healthy.

Running Back

- Knowshon Moreno, Georgia
Over 100 yards and 3 touchdowns on only 10 touches in week one speaks for itself. Moreno scored 13 rushing touchdowns last year and only started part of the season. With Brannan Southerland out for a few games, those carries at the goal line will be shifted to Knowshon.
- PJ Hill, Wisconsin
A workhorse back who racked up over 200 yards in week 1. His large size combined with good speed makes him a threat from outside the red zone or at the 2 yard line. He scored 15 touchdowns and 14 touchdowns in his first two years on campus, I expect more of the same in ’08.

Tight End

- Dennis Pitta, BYU
After a solid freshman year of 17 catches back in 2004, Pitta returned from his mission to BYU in 2007 and hauled in 59 passes. A key target for quarterback Max Hall, Pitta had 11 catches for over 200 yards in week 1.
- Travis Beckum, Wisconsin
Led all TE’s in receiving last year with 982 yards, he will continue to be a focal point in the play action game for Wisconsin.

Wide Receiver

- Jeremy Maclin, Missouri
80 catches, over 1,000 yards and 9 touchdowns as a freshmen. Plus, he puts up additional points for his work in the return game.
- Michael Crabtree, Texas Tech
Crabtree had the best season ever for a freshman receiver, amassing 134 catches for nearly 2,000 yards and 22 touchdowns. If he was in the NFL, he would be a number one pick in any fantasy draft.
- Jarret Dillard, Rice
Dillard had 21 touchdowns as a sophomore and 14 as a junior for the Owls. He has gotten off to a great start again in ’08 with 7 catches and 3 scores in a week 1 win over SMU.


- Blair Walsh, Georgia
The kid has ice in his veins. Walsh nailed a 52 yard field goal with ten yards to spare on the very first attempt of his career. With the Dawgs explosive offense, Walsh should pick up plenty of PAT’s as well.


- LSU or Oklahoma
Both have quick defenses which score a lot of points.

Who to Avoid?
- Cullen Harper, James Davis – Really, anyone on Clemson, because their coaching is horrible.
- Georgia receivers – Coach Bobo likes to spread the ball out too much.
- Todd Reesing – Kansas got lucky, it won’t happen again.
- USC tailbacks – No one will emerge as the feature back as Carroll and company continue to use running back by committee.

Tuesday, September 2, 2008

Weekend Garbage

Craig James
You are the king bastard of college football. Your coverage of college football is horrendous. It's amazing that you make John Saunders look respectable. If you were covering Saudi Arabian equestrian tournaments, you would still suck.

During halftime of the Alabama/(the embarrassment that is) Clemson game, ABC and their halftime gang went through the normal routine of showing clips from previous games during the day.

They only showed one clip from the UGA game and that was of Knowshon running in for a touchdown.

All Craig James could find to comment on was that UGA is dumb for risking injury to Knowshon behind our weak offensive line, because after the play it appeared that Knowshon had injured his hamstring (just a cramp)! Nevermind it was his third fucking touchdown. That wouldn't be important information to provide.

Just before the game resumed, Craig did have this funny line to say, "Bama came to a fist fight, while Clemson came to a school dance."

Despite this great line, Craig James still sucks at life.

Why don't you help June Jones out and give his players some of that "motivation" that used to make SMU so great.

Tommy Bowden
See, you had a good thing going. You can't ever finish the job, but you do enough to keep your team's fan base satisfied. They don't notice you are a complete moron and void of any common sense.

Then you decided to not put the ball in the hands of CJ Spiller and James Davis for...pretty much the entire game.

Now they know how dumb you are, and the pitch forks and torches will be outside your bedroom window before November.

Why is this surprising? Can Pitt losing anything really be an upset? I picked Bowling Green, because you never bet on the Wannstache. Anyone who had Pitt in their top 25 is a fool. Don't be hypnotized by the 'stache. I know it's beautiful, but it is never successful.

Techno Music
It's not allowed in football. Ever. North Avenue Trade School goes crazy for it. Clemson was jumping up and down to it Saturday night.

It must be something with engineering schools. I guess you guys want to go all the way with it and never get laid. Dungeons and Dragons? Check. Sausage parties? Check. Techno music? FUCK YEAH!

Blowing it
Damn it, Tennessee. Now, I have to listen to this PAC-10 garbage for eternity because you roll over at the end of the game. It was the 2006 LSU game all over again. A Crompton curse might be real. Now we get to hear, "3rd string PAC-10 QBs can beat your SEC defense."

Now we have to try and defend this dishonoring of our conference when we go to Arizona.

Monday, September 1, 2008

Week 1: Impressions and Ramblings

Week 1 of the college football season is now complete. Here are the big things I take from week 1:

- We dominated the game, it was not even close. Some people came away unsatisfied, but not me. It was 38-0, we were playing EVERYBODY. Overall, a great day for the Dawgs.
- On the other hand, the loss of Jeff Owens hurts. We saw Deangelo Tyson in the game very early and I figure he will be a key part of the D-line rotation going forward.
- Knowshon and Stafford looked like legitimate Heisman candidates. 275 yards and two scores for Stafford, over 100 total yards and 3 scores for Knowshon on only 10 touches. Pretty impressive, even against Georgia Southern.
- Guys making an impact. Kris Durham, Corvey Irvin, Daryl Gamble, AJ Green, and Caleb King all showed something on Saturday.

The SEC dominates, the ACC sucks:

- With Tennessee left to play, the SEC has gone 10-1. The only team that looks legit in the ACC right now is Wake Forest. Va Tech and Clemson both lost games in which they were favored.

Columbus, we have a problem:
- If Beanie Wells is out and Sanchez plays like he did against Virginia, is there any doubt that USC will dominate Ohio State in a few weeks?

Auburn's New Offense:
- 13 for 27 for 85 yards, 1 TD and 1 int. Doesn't exactly sound like the great passing numbers that Auburn fans have been thinking they were going to put up in Tony Franklin's new offense. But running the ball, Auburn had 46 carries for 321 yards. Maybe things on the Plains haven't changed that much.

Missouri - Illinois:
- I know everyone loves offense, but 52 - 42? Missouri, if you let Juice Williams throw for over 400 yards and 5 TD's, your defense just isn't very good. Oklahoma is licking their chops right now.

Who's Rising, Who's Falling:
- Stock Up: Colorado - Say all you want about his dad being the coach, but Cody Hawkins is a pretty darn good qurterback. Look for Colorado to challenge for the Big XII North.
- Stock Down: Clemson - You have the best running back tandem in the country and you managed ZERO YARDS RUSHING. Tommy Bowden's offensive strategy is questionable at best. If you have Spiller and Davis, how the heck does your game plan not include getting them the ball at least 25 times?
- Stock Up: Wake Forest - One of the most complete teams I saw play. Solid offense, solid defense, great coaching. Look for Wake to take the ACC for the second time in three years.
- Stock Down: Pitt - Wanstache - that seat is mighty hot right now.