In case you need to brush up on your vocabulary for tomorrow, here are some things you can say to all the nerds you come across. By no means is this an all encompassing list. Add your own in the comments section.
Things to call the "fans"
-Nerds
-Techies
-Trade schoolers
-Virgins
-Losers
-Geek Squad
-Nerd Troopers (or Storm Troopers)
Things to call the school
-North Avenue Trade School
-Joke by Coke
-Auburn by the ghetto
-The Varsity's back lot
-United Nations gone wrong
Phrases to say
-"So, where can I find the Reggie Ball statue?"
-" Were you the engineers than put together that parking deck that collapsed over on 5th Street?"
-"I need to go to some parties. Can you point me towards Georgia State? Oh, you have parties here? I want to go to ones that will have women."
-"So, exactly what color is that you are wearing? Mustard?"
-"Wow! You guys went to the Emerald Nuts Bowl? Good thing you have these signs up in here letting everyone know your great accomplishments."
-"It's so great to be here at the Joke by Coke/North Avenue Trade School/any other derogatory name."
-"Beat the rush, HATE Tech early."
-"Excuse me, which way are all the women? Oh, I gotta go off campus."
-"45-42? Oh, you know what's so great about the number 45? In the last 45 years, you've only beaten UGA 12 times. Suck it."
-"NEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEERRRRRRRRRRRRRRDS!!!!!!!!"
-"Fake, retroactive national championships don't count. You've only won two."
-"You left the SEC, you didn't deserve to come back. You're welcome."
-"No, I do not want to attend your robot club meeting. There's a football game about to start."
-"I'm a ramblin' wreck from Georgia Tech, and I'm a CRAAAAAAAAAAASH!!!"
-"It doesn't matter what you do or do not accomplish, we will always be better at life."
-"You spent your entire time at Tech wishing you had gone to Georgia."
Showing posts with label Rivalry weekend. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Rivalry weekend. Show all posts
Friday, November 27, 2009
What It Means To Be A Nerd
I meant to be bashing the North Avenue Trade School all week. However, since my laptop crashed on Tuesday, my access to the interwebs has been vastly limited.
Still, there needs to be some discussion (and reminding), of exactly why you need to Hate the Trade School, and why you are better for not being a part of their terrible existence.
To be a Trade School nerd is a hard thing to fathom for most people, but we figured we would try to give a shot at reminding everyone what they're all about.
The life of a old gold nerd is as follows:
1) Interactions with the female gender are few and far between
Ever since the Trade School took over the dorms that formerly belonged to Georgia State, the amount of females in the short radius around the Trade School campus decreased by 600%.
The upside is that reported peeping tom and rufie incidents decreased at almost the same percentage.
It is a sad existence as a male Trade School student, and a scary one as a female.
2) The robot club meetings are the most popular events on campus
Seriously, it is bigger than football, basketball, badminton, nerds watching Urban Meyer's daughter sit on the bench during volleyball games, and the World of Warcraft club meetings combined.
Religion means nothing at the Trade School when compared to the robot club. Nothing.
3) Dragon*Con is Christmas part deux
Think about the biggest event in Athens outside of football season. It is probably the Twilight Criterion, right? 40,000 people flock to Athens for a weekend of cycling races, music, sports, and imbibing massive amounts of alcohol while traffic in downtown is shut down. In other words, it's a dream come true for any human being that enjoys fun.
For the Trade School, you got a comic book, live action role playing, sci-fi fest. Wow.
The best thing about Dragon*Con is sneaking into the after parties (if you can call them that) and stealing the nerds' beer while simultaneously making fun of them.
At the biggest event for nerds, we still find a way to ruin it for them and have more fun at it.
4) Indecisiveness runs rampant
An annoyance for centuries. The official colors are old gold and white. The bumble bee mascot is yellow. Half the stuff that fans can buy is piss yellow, the other half is various shades of gold.
Last season, the football team couldn't decide if they were wearing mustard or gold.
The entire fan base is a walking color contradiction.
They had to do a white out, because attempting a "gold out" would end up being an"old gold/gold/mustard/yellow/sunburst/tangerine out."
5) Inferiority is the name of the game
Nerds have a built in inferiority complex in relation to UGA, it's fans, and well...life in general.
They hate their classes, their lack of women, and the lack of anything that resembles fun coming in contact with their school.
In order to make up for their lame existence, they have to steal band members and cheerleaders from other schools.
No matter their success, they will accept being talked down to by Georgia fans, even if they beat us. In the high likelihood we lose Saturday, just try it. They will be completely unable to back up their smack talk, and will quiver at your presence.
They have a bumble bee mascot, so it is difficult to have a live animal serving as a mascot. How do a bunch of engineers make up for this? By having a car as a mascot. A car. A motorized vehicle. You consider an automoble as your mascot and you want to talk shit to other schools? No wonder you have problems with women.
You can't sell out your football season ticket packages, and a self-described biggest conference game of the year (see here and here). Talk to me when your fan base decides to reach the big boy level.
Enough said.
As you walk through the Trade School campus on Saturday, just remember these points and you'll know why the life of a Trade School nerd is failure of humanity.
Still, there needs to be some discussion (and reminding), of exactly why you need to Hate the Trade School, and why you are better for not being a part of their terrible existence.
To be a Trade School nerd is a hard thing to fathom for most people, but we figured we would try to give a shot at reminding everyone what they're all about.
The life of a old gold nerd is as follows:
1) Interactions with the female gender are few and far between
Ever since the Trade School took over the dorms that formerly belonged to Georgia State, the amount of females in the short radius around the Trade School campus decreased by 600%.
The upside is that reported peeping tom and rufie incidents decreased at almost the same percentage.
It is a sad existence as a male Trade School student, and a scary one as a female.
2) The robot club meetings are the most popular events on campus
Seriously, it is bigger than football, basketball, badminton, nerds watching Urban Meyer's daughter sit on the bench during volleyball games, and the World of Warcraft club meetings combined.
Religion means nothing at the Trade School when compared to the robot club. Nothing.
3) Dragon*Con is Christmas part deux
Think about the biggest event in Athens outside of football season. It is probably the Twilight Criterion, right? 40,000 people flock to Athens for a weekend of cycling races, music, sports, and imbibing massive amounts of alcohol while traffic in downtown is shut down. In other words, it's a dream come true for any human being that enjoys fun.
For the Trade School, you got a comic book, live action role playing, sci-fi fest. Wow.
The best thing about Dragon*Con is sneaking into the after parties (if you can call them that) and stealing the nerds' beer while simultaneously making fun of them.
At the biggest event for nerds, we still find a way to ruin it for them and have more fun at it.
4) Indecisiveness runs rampant
An annoyance for centuries. The official colors are old gold and white. The bumble bee mascot is yellow. Half the stuff that fans can buy is piss yellow, the other half is various shades of gold.
Last season, the football team couldn't decide if they were wearing mustard or gold.
The entire fan base is a walking color contradiction.
They had to do a white out, because attempting a "gold out" would end up being an"old gold/gold/mustard/yellow/sunburst/tangerine out."
5) Inferiority is the name of the game
Nerds have a built in inferiority complex in relation to UGA, it's fans, and well...life in general.
They hate their classes, their lack of women, and the lack of anything that resembles fun coming in contact with their school.
In order to make up for their lame existence, they have to steal band members and cheerleaders from other schools.
No matter their success, they will accept being talked down to by Georgia fans, even if they beat us. In the high likelihood we lose Saturday, just try it. They will be completely unable to back up their smack talk, and will quiver at your presence.
They have a bumble bee mascot, so it is difficult to have a live animal serving as a mascot. How do a bunch of engineers make up for this? By having a car as a mascot. A car. A motorized vehicle. You consider an automoble as your mascot and you want to talk shit to other schools? No wonder you have problems with women.
You can't sell out your football season ticket packages, and a self-described biggest conference game of the year (see here and here). Talk to me when your fan base decides to reach the big boy level.
Enough said.
As you walk through the Trade School campus on Saturday, just remember these points and you'll know why the life of a Trade School nerd is failure of humanity.
Thursday, November 26, 2009
Profiles In Hate: Arizona State-Arizona
In honor of Hate Week, I figured I'd do what I can to highlight some other in-state rivalries.
Our buddies in the Moustache Nation sent me these pictures of what they do when the find Arizona paraphernalia in other towns.
Very impressive. Love the determination to never hold back the Hate.
Good luck to the Sun Devils against the Kitty Cats of Tucson.
Go Dawgs.
Our buddies in the Moustache Nation sent me these pictures of what they do when the find Arizona paraphernalia in other towns.
Very impressive. Love the determination to never hold back the Hate.
Good luck to the Sun Devils against the Kitty Cats of Tucson.
Go Dawgs.
Monday, November 23, 2009
BNE Pick 'Em Week 12
Well, I'm back after a week off to bring you the ups and downs for the BNE Pick 'Em. Was it me, or was there not a lot going on in football this weekend?
First up, the most exciting game of the weekend had to be LSU vs. Ole Miss. I mean seriously, what didn't this game have? Defense, offense, special teams, heroes, zeros, and surprises galore. I have to nominate Jordan Jefferson and the LSU coaching staff for the Boneheads of the Year award after the final 4 minutes of the game. After a recovered onside kick, going for it all on 4th and 26, completing a hail mary pass just 7 yards short of the goal line with 1 second left, what does LSU do? Rush on their kicking unit all ready to go on the sideline? Try a gutsy dump pass into the end zone? The ol' Statue of Liberty trickeration? No, no my friend, Les and Jefferson are much too crafty for anything so simple. They decide that spiking the ball will fool everyone and leave them with exactly one second to run a...oh, wait...yeah...1-1 leaves me with...OH CRAP!
First up, the most exciting game of the weekend had to be LSU vs. Ole Miss. I mean seriously, what didn't this game have? Defense, offense, special teams, heroes, zeros, and surprises galore. I have to nominate Jordan Jefferson and the LSU coaching staff for the Boneheads of the Year award after the final 4 minutes of the game. After a recovered onside kick, going for it all on 4th and 26, completing a hail mary pass just 7 yards short of the goal line with 1 second left, what does LSU do? Rush on their kicking unit all ready to go on the sideline? Try a gutsy dump pass into the end zone? The ol' Statue of Liberty trickeration? No, no my friend, Les and Jefferson are much too crafty for anything so simple. They decide that spiking the ball will fool everyone and leave them with exactly one second to run a...oh, wait...yeah...1-1 leaves me with...OH CRAP!
D'oh!
Almost as surprising as the game was the fact that most everyone picked that game correctly! The only other truly exciting game was Oregon and Arizona going down to the wire in OT, with the Ducks setting up a defacto Pac-10 championship game this weekend in the Civil War with Oregon State. I keep telling you, the Ducks are for real.
Jeremiah Masoli ain't pretty, but he makes sure the Ducks win
Pretty much everything besides these two games was kind of a let down from the rest of the season. Bama and Florida bullied two weaker schools in Chattanooga and FIU respectively. Tennessee failed to cover the spread...again! Meechigan lost like everyone expected and Arkansas kept the fireworks going with a win over Mississippi State. But, the biggest let down was the Kentucky vs. UGA game...
Penalties + turnovers + bad coaching = 6-5
So with the unpleasantness over with, let's see where we stand going into rivalry weekend:
1. shelt320 & dawgsman81
3. Dutch
4. DawgDai
5. yedidawg
6. bulldog91
7. Gen. Stoopangle
8. BFR
9. OneHairyDawg
10. Donald Eason
From the BNE Staff:
1. BFR
2. Earl
3. aumaverick
4. bubba
5. Streit
6. bulldawgjosh
It looks as though someone only recently joined our Pick 'Em judging by his 0-10 record and 0 points. So ruling that out, it looks like our old pal mmike032 is still sitting fat, dumb and happy at the bottom of the feeding trough. 41-91 and 236 overall, but tied for #5 this week (along with 24 others).
mmike032, keep at it and you just might climb out in time for the end of the season. I suggest some of the studying techniques from our sponsor, www.test-cram.com for tips on how to bone up on this weekend's matchups. Tips like studying, having a plan, organizing, knowing who is actually playing and remembering to enter your picks. When all else fails though, there's always adderall.
So this is it for the regular season. Its rivalry weekend! Florida vs. FSU, UNC vs. NC State, Texas vs. Texas A&M, UGA vs. GaTech, and of course the Iron Bowl between Bama and Auburn. Hate your brother, hate your neighbor, heck you might even hate your wife this week! Whatever you do, whoever you hate, remember its only for one day...every other day is just plain disgust.
WAR EAGLE HATE BAMA
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