Rumors Confirmed: Jabba The Hutt is the New DC at UGA

Wow. I'm just as shocked as you all are.

From the Associated Press:

Jabba The Hutt is surprise choice to be Georgia's next defensive coordinator

Athens, GA: After a down season for the Georgia Bulldogs, Coach Mark Richt let go much of his defensive staff, including the much maligned defensive coordinator Willie Martinez.

After the dismissal of Willie Martinez, John Jancek, and Jon Fabris last week, there has been rampant and wild speculation among the Georgia fan base as to who would become their new defensive coordinator. This morning it was announced that Jabba the Hutt, (who has no known previous ties to the university), would be hired as Georgia's new defensive coordinator.

Don't judge. Giant space slugs can be good coaches, too.

Jabba The Hutt is most well known for being the intergalactic crime lord based on the desert planet of Tatooine. Known for his cunning nature, ruthlessness, and love of all things evil, he is seen by many as a powerful force in the space crime world (as well as taking great pleasure in out smarting his opponents and torturing them).

"I'm very excited about this opportunity." Jabba told members of the media on a conference call this morning (NOTE: the translation is loose as it is quite difficult to find someone that speaks Huttese). "I've wanted to venture into coaching for a long time, and I think my experience as a crime lord will enable me to bring unique leadership to the football field."

Mark Richt was unavailable for comment during the announcement due to recruiting obligations.

Jabba's selection as a defensive coordinator for a college football team may seem like an odd move to many. However, Jabba's background and personal characteristics might suit him well for the job.

Jabba the Hutt was actually a skilled defensive lineman at Oregon State University, starting during the 1962, '63, and '64 seasons. Jabba led the defense in helping the '62 beavers reach the Liberty Bowl, and the '64 team to the Rose Bowl. As a freshman, he play on both sides of the ball and being a key asset on the line that protected 1962 Heisman Trophy winning quarterback Terry Baker.

While Jabba attempted a career in the NFL after being drafted by the Green Bay Packers in 1965, a severe ACL tear in training camp left him immobile for months. This lead to Jabba's massive weight gain, thus preventing him from ever getting back into shape, and eventually he began a career in organized space crime.

All the while, Jabba stayed involved with his alma mater as one of its major boosters. According to insiders, Jabba has always held a great passion for college football and one day wished to become involved more personally.

When asked why he wanted to coach at Georgia, Jabba himself said, "I first met Mark Richt many years ago when he was recruiting one of my many illegitimate space children to come play fullback at Florida State. When my son was eventually killed by a rival bounty hunter before he could enroll in college, Mark Richt reached out immediately to my family. He has remained a friend ever since. I've talked with him many times about venturing into coaching, and as soon as the opportunity opened, I called him with my interest. Luckily, he allowed me to present myself to him and his staff, and evidently they saw something in me that clicked.

"I think I will be able to bring a lot to Georgia. Ask anyone that's been in business with me, they know my ability to get people to believe in me. Typically, their life has depended on it."

When asked how will he be able to keep his players out of trouble when he has built a career off of crime, Jabba responded, "No one knows more about trouble than me, so no one knows how to keep kids out of trouble more than I do. Whether it's kidnapping or placing bounty on people's heads, I've done it. This will be a new kind of scared straight...scared Jabba straight."

One reporter asked who Jabba might bring in as his new position coaches. "I'm considering many options, including bringing some unconventional choices, like some bounty hunters I've employed. However, I won't be employing any storm troopers. Too close to the traditional powers, " Jabba said.

When asked by another report if he wouldn't be a better fit Georgia Tech, given his sci-fi background, Jabba replied, "Gimme a break. Georgia is the type of place for me. I may have connections with Star Wars, but I am by no means a nerd. In fact, I hate nerds, that's why I eat them, and turn their women into slaves."

What about Jabba's death in Return of the Jedi? Is this even possible to be happening? Jabba's reply: "It's not really applicable, as that was an alternate galaxy, and I've often traveled back and forth between these different galaxies. I have a theory that most of my activity as a crime lord has taken place in a different dimension. While unproven, it could explain my existence here while I may suffer a death on Tatooine.

"End of the day, it doesn't matter. I'm ready to come to Georgia, and I'm ready to win. Even if it means kidnapping Urban Meyer's daughter and turning her into my personal slave."

Defensive Coaching Candidate: Mark Snyder?

I saw on one of the AJC blogs a reader post that suggested Georgia take a look at Mark Snyder to replace Willie Martinez. This was a new name that I had not heard mentioned in the conversation. Turns out, Snyder is currently available and has coached a national championship defense. Here are the details on Mark Snyder:

Name: Mark Snyder

Age: 44

Coaching Experience:

1988 - Grad Assistant - Marshall University

1991-1993- Linebackers - Youngstown State

1994 - 1996 - Defensive Coordinator, Secondary Coach - Youngstown State

1997-2000 - Defensive Coordinator - Minnesota

2001 - 2004 - Defensive Coordinator - Ohio State

2005 - 2009 - Head Coach - Marshall University

Playing Experience:

1985-1988 - Safety - Marshall University

Career Highlights:

As a member of Jim Tressel's staff at Youngstown State, Snyder helped coach a defense that won 3 consecutive 1-AA national championships (1991-1993). Snyder was promoted to DC and eventually left Youngstown State to become defensive coordinator at Minnesota. During his time with Golden Gophers, the team twice broke the school record for sacks and average over 40 a year during that time. Tressel brought Snyder back onto his staff at Ohio State in 2001. Snyder's defenses helped Ohio State win back to back Fiesta Bowls and claim the 2002 National Championship. Snyder returned to his alma mater in 2005, taking over at Marshall. The team compiled a 16-31 record during Snyder's tenure. He resigned following the end of the 2009 season, despite Marshall reaching bowl eligibility for the first time since he took over.

Why he may be a good fit:

Snyder has experience leading defenses to national championships at multiple levels. After resigning at Marshall, he is currently available and after an unsuccessful stint as a head coach, may be ready to return to being a coordinator. As the picture above shows, he also has a reputation as a fiery guy, something former DC Brian Van Gorder was known for and something people often felt Martinez lacked.

Bubba Does Basketball

Well, the University of Georgia has taken the plunge and hired a new basketball coach. This hire is very intriguing for me and let me start by saying that this is an opportunity that I can get on board with. Yes, it is very easy to say “Who is this guy?” and other than the fact that Trent Johnson coached Kirk Snyder there, that’s all I know about the University of Nevada besides the fact that it is in Reno, ugh:

Back to Dr. Naismith’s game and the positives that I see out of this hire:

First, UGA needed a change, plain and simple. Mark Fox gives the Bulldogs this opportunity right out of the gate. He has no prior notions about the basketball program being a Midwest guy coaching towards the West Coast. This, in my opinion, gives him an opportunity to change the culture of the players and change the image of how UGA basketball is run. It is easy to be concerned with the fact he has no current connections to the Southeast, but the man has been successful at winning basketball games and getting talent to play at Nevada. He had to build relationships over time to get strong personnel in Nevada and judging from his success over the last 5 seasons, I believe that he has the ability to build superior relationships in Athens. His mentor from Nevada, Trent Johnson, had no prior connections to the Southeast and won 27 games at LSU last season. UGA definitely does not have the recent record of LSU nor does it have their roster, but this should give Mark Fox some insight as far the job that he has taken and the work that he must do.

Second, it looks to me that Coach Fox has the ability to develop players. UGA has not developed the skills of its players throughout the tenure of Dennis Felton. Mike Mercer was an undisciplined mess and he, along with Takais Brown, took whatever Felton had built over his first few years and threw it out the window when they were kicked off/left the team. Sundiata Gaines and Dave Bliss were the only two players that I can honestly say I saw get better during their time at UGA. I hate to speak poorly about Coach Felton because he is a good man and worked hard for the University, but his way was no longer working. There is enough talent in the Classic City to be competitive in the SEC and field some semblance of an offensive game plan. Trey Tompkins, Dustin Ware, and Travis Leslie (if eligible) have individual unique talents. Barring their transfer, and it will take one helluva sales job to keep the current roster intact, Mark Fox with his record, can build a team with those young players. Over 40 players were in the NCAA tournament this past season on non-Georgia teams, get one to two of those players a year and you are moving in the right direction.

Thank You Coach Felton, at least someone won a Title on the Trade School Gym Floor, ba da boom!

Third, Bobby Knight wasn't and would never be the answer. Simple question, where does Bobby Knight leave you in two to three years when he is sick of coaching? Yes, he won 20 games every full season but 2004-2005 at Texas Tech, but he is burnt out. Do you as a fan really want to end up with Pat Knight as your coach after he is fired by the brass in Lubbock? Personally, I don’t. Mark Fox is fresh and hungry while Bobby Knight is probably still in that bunker at the golf course (caution, extreme language):

Fourth, this is funny:

I think he could hang with Steve Newman (Sorry Steve, but you were not good).

In closing, is Mark Fox the splash that Anthony Grant would have been? The simple answer is no, but for two guys coaching at the same mid-major level, they have been equally successful. Grant ultimately didn’t have the interest in UGA that our fans had in him. The Parker Executive Search firm put UGA in a position to hire an experienced coach that UGA, for all intents and purposes, probably never would have considered. A coach that is a new direction for a program in turmoil and I see nothing wrong with a new direction. Damon Evans is not an idiot and is one of the bright young minds in college athletics, like Damon, let’s give this guy a shot.

Good Luck Coach Fox and welcome to the best nation on Earth, Bulldawg Nation.