Friday, September 26, 2008

RAMMER JAMMER, YELLOW BANANER

Paid endorsements by coaches are one thing, but I think Saban went off the edge with his dedication for the endorsement of the Joe Dirt hotline. Then again, he's really reaching out to the quintessential Bama fan.

My previous post (click here) on the torment that is Bama has come to fruition. In fact, as hard as it is to believe, it is worse than imaginable. They truly are UNBEARABLE.

Bama fans have said that they are going to “expose” UGA because we’re frauds and we’re overrated. We’ve proved nothing. Go to AZ State and win? Garbage. I mean, they truly are the dominant team in college football. This team, after four weeks, is like the manifestation of pure and utter domination in human form. They have proven so much in these four weeks, that we should all quit before our minds melt at the greatness we will witness this Saturday.

I mean, their performance against Tulane proves this. They didn’t score an offensive touchdown against Tulane, but that’s okay because OMG BAMA IZ #1! BEST D-FENCE ALL TIME!!!!!! D-FENCE TD IZ BEST WAY TO SCORE!!!!

Juh-Jones and Jawn Pawkuh Wilsun have obviously become the number 1 and 2 Heisman contenders, and it will soon be re-named the J&J Trophy. That Heisman guy wasn’t that good anyways. I mean, he didn’t even play for Alabama!

Their offense will score 78 touchdowns against our worthless defense. Juh- Jones will pass to JPW, JPW will pass to Juh-Jones, and they will even play our entire defense alone! 2 versus 11, disaster for any other team, but an easy feat for the Tide.

Terrence Cody will show that he is the greatest defensive player of all time. He will extinguish each member of our offense in a single blow and then eat 47 cheeseburgers, wishing he had ordered some french fries to add some variety.

If it weren’t for the fantastically amazing skills of Juh-Jones and JPW, Cody would be the 2nd defensive player to win the Heisman, excuse me, the J&J Trophy.

This is all pure speculation based on my part. We can only receive the crimson crushing we so rightly deserve if our team has enough gas to even get to the stadium. I mean, Bama will make it for sure because they fuel their buses off of undeserved arrogance juice (the richest reserves of which happen to be located in Tuscaloosa).

My fellow dawgs, we are doomed this weekend as we will truly learn what greatness is at the hands of the big crimson elephants.

Don't we all wish we could be as wonderfully amazing and successful as Bama fans?

3 comments:

Poot said...

Dear Bulldawgjosh,
You're a pussy.
Regards,
UnBEARable

Poot said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
BulldawgJosh said...

You sound so intimidating "poot."