Wednesday, September 3, 2008


It's happening again. For several years, it had been suppressed by scandals, mediocrity, and being the second best team (an argument can be made they are third), in the wasteland known as the State of Alabama.

But the second coming of their lord has turned Bama fans back into what they have always been: UNBEARABLE.

There is no better word to describe Bama fans. Not only because of the inherent irony, but simply because that is what it is like to listen to them talk about themselves. Whereas Florida fans speak out of pure arrogance and a need to be obnoxious, Bama fans have the most unobjective sense of self pride that exists in our universe.

Nick Saban's ascension to the throne of Houndstoothland has brought this quality of Bama fans back and in full effect like we've never seen. I'm sure it was worse than this in the '60's and '70's. But, they were actually winning national championships back then. Most of them now even forget that they won the '92 title under...some guy that looked like Bear Bryant, so we'll just say it was BEAR, WOO-HAH!

Part of me was quite naive going into this season. I figured the 7-6 season and the multiple embarassments that summed up Bama's 2007 season was a reality check for their fans.


Before the Clemson game was even over, Bama fans were already claiming the national championship in an undefeated season, as well as an unprecedented two Heisman Trophy winners in one year, Jawn Pawkuh Wilsun and Juh-Jones.

Assholes like Kirk Herbstreit only throw gasoline onto this bonfire by stating that Bama has reached their greatness in only the first game of Year 2 of Our Lord Saban, rather than Year 4 or Year 5 (All Praise Saban).

First off, Herbstreit's doing a terrible thing by making Bama fans think they will reach the peak of dominance...ever. They already think they will, giving them a timeline only encourages them even more. Saying it's this year means you're asking for an asteroid of self-importance to blow us all to bits.

Bama fans are already out preaching the gospel on call-in shows. Yes, they are the only team in existence that can reach a level of pure dominance over all others in college football. And, it will last for centuries to come, upon which time our nation will become the United Sabans of Bear's America.

This is the type of dribble we are having to deal with and they've only won one game. By the time they reach the Classic City, it'll be the beginning of AROUND THE BOWL, DOWN THE HOLE, ROLL TIDE ROLL!

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