Tuesday, September 2, 2008

Weekend Garbage

Craig James
You are the king bastard of college football. Your coverage of college football is horrendous. It's amazing that you make John Saunders look respectable. If you were covering Saudi Arabian equestrian tournaments, you would still suck.

During halftime of the Alabama/(the embarrassment that is) Clemson game, ABC and their halftime gang went through the normal routine of showing clips from previous games during the day.

They only showed one clip from the UGA game and that was of Knowshon running in for a touchdown.

All Craig James could find to comment on was that UGA is dumb for risking injury to Knowshon behind our weak offensive line, because after the play it appeared that Knowshon had injured his hamstring (just a cramp)! Nevermind it was his third fucking touchdown. That wouldn't be important information to provide.

Just before the game resumed, Craig did have this funny line to say, "Bama came to a fist fight, while Clemson came to a school dance."

Despite this great line, Craig James still sucks at life.

Why don't you help June Jones out and give his players some of that "motivation" that used to make SMU so great.

Tommy Bowden
See, you had a good thing going. You can't ever finish the job, but you do enough to keep your team's fan base satisfied. They don't notice you are a complete moron and void of any common sense.

Then you decided to not put the ball in the hands of CJ Spiller and James Davis for...pretty much the entire game.

Now they know how dumb you are, and the pitch forks and torches will be outside your bedroom window before November.

Why is this surprising? Can Pitt losing anything really be an upset? I picked Bowling Green, because you never bet on the Wannstache. Anyone who had Pitt in their top 25 is a fool. Don't be hypnotized by the 'stache. I know it's beautiful, but it is never successful.

Techno Music
It's not allowed in football. Ever. North Avenue Trade School goes crazy for it. Clemson was jumping up and down to it Saturday night.

It must be something with engineering schools. I guess you guys want to go all the way with it and never get laid. Dungeons and Dragons? Check. Sausage parties? Check. Techno music? FUCK YEAH!

Blowing it
Damn it, Tennessee. Now, I have to listen to this PAC-10 garbage for eternity because you roll over at the end of the game. It was the 2006 LSU game all over again. A Crompton curse might be real. Now we get to hear, "3rd string PAC-10 QBs can beat your SEC defense."

Now we have to try and defend this dishonoring of our conference when we go to Arizona.


Hunker Down said...

I didn't hear Craig James say that. But since it was only the second play of the second half and Knowshon's 8th and final carry...

Yeah, is was an idiotic comment. Especially since we got punished in the polls for not running up the score.

BulldawgJosh said...

It would be entirely possible that my inebriated mind could make it up given my utter dislike for Craig James. Luckily, Earl was there to confirm it, so he did say it. Expect nothing less from him.

You had to expect pollsters to knock us down at the first opportunity, especially if it means pumping up USC.