It's not like they had a lot of big wins to vacate

The Alabama Crimson Tide are going to be forced to vacate wins for its football program from 2005-2007. This includes the first season under current head coach Nick Saban. The allegations include football players getting free text books for other students. Included in the list of players were former Alabama stars Antoine Cladwell and Glen Coffee. While being forced to vacate victories from the Mike Shula era is no big deal, I'm sure Saban is furious about losing victories from the 2007 season.

Saban's first squad dropped their final 4 games of the regular season before winning their bowl game to finish with a record of 7-6. That included an embarrassing loss to Louisiana-Monroe.

As Bubba says, this picture never gets old.

With the forfeits, Saban will now have a losing record during his first season at Alabama. As if they did not already want to remove the ULM from their records, now they will want to remove the entire season.

Oh yeah, there is one other game from that 2007 that the outcome will not be changed:

Round the bowl and down the hole, Roll Tide Roll!

RAMMER JAMMER, YELLOW BANANER

Paid endorsements by coaches are one thing, but I think Saban went off the edge with his dedication for the endorsement of the Joe Dirt hotline. Then again, he's really reaching out to the quintessential Bama fan.

My previous post (click here) on the torment that is Bama has come to fruition. In fact, as hard as it is to believe, it is worse than imaginable. They truly are UNBEARABLE.

Bama fans have said that they are going to “expose” UGA because we’re frauds and we’re overrated. We’ve proved nothing. Go to AZ State and win? Garbage. I mean, they truly are the dominant team in college football. This team, after four weeks, is like the manifestation of pure and utter domination in human form. They have proven so much in these four weeks, that we should all quit before our minds melt at the greatness we will witness this Saturday.

I mean, their performance against Tulane proves this. They didn’t score an offensive touchdown against Tulane, but that’s okay because OMG BAMA IZ #1! BEST D-FENCE ALL TIME!!!!!! D-FENCE TD IZ BEST WAY TO SCORE!!!!

Juh-Jones and Jawn Pawkuh Wilsun have obviously become the number 1 and 2 Heisman contenders, and it will soon be re-named the J&J Trophy. That Heisman guy wasn’t that good anyways. I mean, he didn’t even play for Alabama!

Their offense will score 78 touchdowns against our worthless defense. Juh- Jones will pass to JPW, JPW will pass to Juh-Jones, and they will even play our entire defense alone! 2 versus 11, disaster for any other team, but an easy feat for the Tide.

Terrence Cody will show that he is the greatest defensive player of all time. He will extinguish each member of our offense in a single blow and then eat 47 cheeseburgers, wishing he had ordered some french fries to add some variety.

If it weren’t for the fantastically amazing skills of Juh-Jones and JPW, Cody would be the 2nd defensive player to win the Heisman, excuse me, the J&J Trophy.

This is all pure speculation based on my part. We can only receive the crimson crushing we so rightly deserve if our team has enough gas to even get to the stadium. I mean, Bama will make it for sure because they fuel their buses off of undeserved arrogance juice (the richest reserves of which happen to be located in Tuscaloosa).

My fellow dawgs, we are doomed this weekend as we will truly learn what greatness is at the hands of the big crimson elephants.

Don't we all wish we could be as wonderfully amazing and successful as Bama fans?

Alabama!

Remember Dawg fans, these people will be trying to steal your tailgate spots Saturday:



Go Dawgs!

UnBEARable

It's happening again. For several years, it had been suppressed by scandals, mediocrity, and being the second best team (an argument can be made they are third), in the wasteland known as the State of Alabama.

But the second coming of their lord has turned Bama fans back into what they have always been: UNBEARABLE.

There is no better word to describe Bama fans. Not only because of the inherent irony, but simply because that is what it is like to listen to them talk about themselves. Whereas Florida fans speak out of pure arrogance and a need to be obnoxious, Bama fans have the most unobjective sense of self pride that exists in our universe.

Nick Saban's ascension to the throne of Houndstoothland has brought this quality of Bama fans back and in full effect like we've never seen. I'm sure it was worse than this in the '60's and '70's. But, they were actually winning national championships back then. Most of them now even forget that they won the '92 title under...some guy that looked like Bear Bryant, so we'll just say it was BEAR, WOO-HAH!

Part of me was quite naive going into this season. I figured the 7-6 season and the multiple embarassments that summed up Bama's 2007 season was a reality check for their fans.

WRONG.

Before the Clemson game was even over, Bama fans were already claiming the national championship in an undefeated season, as well as an unprecedented two Heisman Trophy winners in one year, Jawn Pawkuh Wilsun and Juh-Jones.

Assholes like Kirk Herbstreit only throw gasoline onto this bonfire by stating that Bama has reached their greatness in only the first game of Year 2 of Our Lord Saban, rather than Year 4 or Year 5 (All Praise Saban).

First off, Herbstreit's doing a terrible thing by making Bama fans think they will reach the peak of dominance...ever. They already think they will, giving them a timeline only encourages them even more. Saying it's this year means you're asking for an asteroid of self-importance to blow us all to bits.

Bama fans are already out preaching the gospel on call-in shows. Yes, they are the only team in existence that can reach a level of pure dominance over all others in college football. And, it will last for centuries to come, upon which time our nation will become the United Sabans of Bear's America.

This is the type of dribble we are having to deal with and they've only won one game. By the time they reach the Classic City, it'll be the beginning of AROUND THE BOWL, DOWN THE HOLE, ROLL TIDE ROLL!