Thursday, July 23, 2009

BREAKING NEWS: WE FOUND OUT WHO DIDN'T VOTE FOR TEBOW

Guess what? I'm lying. Why?

BECAUSE WHO CARES!

I can't take reading on so many blogs, newspaper websites, and even having to listen to Skip Bayless and other ESPN douchebags ponder who in the world didn't vote for TEBLOWME.

I'm also sick, as is Earl, of listening to Floriduh fans whine and cry about it, as if it is the end of the world. One measly ass vote and you would've thought one of these coaches commissioned a second bombing of Pearl Harbor since the fervor and anger over this is so constant.

I realize it's July, we're all bored, yet all pumped at the same time.

However, get over it.

Suck a nut, Tebow.

4 comments:

Earl said...

Hope it was Richt.

The Watch Dawg said...

You're not the only one. I swear it's been the worst media days ever. The whole thing has revolved around "who didn't vote for Tebow?" Bullpuckey, I tell ya.

MT said...

My money is that it was Spurrier.

I feel like when it's his turn at the podium today, he'll get up there and confess straight up that he voted for someone else and justify it like this:

"Tebow? Tim Tebow? No, I didn't vote for him, I voted for Snead. Why? Because Tebow's not Danny Wuerffel. You could run Florida's offense with a hamster, a ball of twine and chewing gum with the type of players they have. Snead, on the other hand..."

Anonymous said...

You want to know who didn't vote for Tebow? You want the truth?

Son, we live in a world that has trophies and those trophies need to be awarded to men with talent. Who's gonna do it? You Mark Richt? You, Les Miles? I have a greater responsibility than you can possibly fathom. You weep for Knowshon and curse the Gators; you have that luxury. You have the luxury of not knowing what I know: that Tebow's Heisman, while tragic, probably saved lives and that my existence, while grotesque and incomprehensible to you, saves lives. You don't want the truth because deep down in places you don't talk about at parties you want me to cast that vote for Tebow, you need me on to cast that vote for Tebow. We use words like Tebow, Superman, god. We use them as the backbone of a life trying to diefy Tim Tebow. You use them as a punchline. I have neither the time nor the inclination to explain myself to a man who rises and sleeps under the blanket of the very freedom Tim Tebow provides and then questions the manner in which he provides it. I would rather you just said "thank you," and went on your way. Otherwise, I suggest that you put on some Orange and gel your hair. Either way, I don't give a damn what you think you are entitled to.