Friday, July 24, 2009

Poppin' Fresh Admits To Snubbing Tebow

The Pillsbury Doughboy, commonly known as Poppin' Fresh, admitted early Friday morning that he stole Steve Spurrier's ballot and voted for Jevan Snead over Tim Tebow.

"I won't apologize for who I've voted for, only that I deceived and brought criticism on my dear friend, Steve Spurrier. I did what I thought was the right thing at the time. I consider this discussion over," Poppin' Fresh said.

According to reports, Poppin' Fresh has been a long time admirer and friend of Steve Spurrier, going back to when the two met in New York when Steve Spurrier won the Heisman Trophy. Poppin' Fresh had just become a household name the year before as the new spokesman for Pillsbury and attended the ceremony as a guest of honor.

Sources have said Poppin' Fresh was a devout gator fan for decades before switching to being a gamecocks fan when Spurrier became a head coach at the University of South Carolina. Poppin' Fresh has also followed Spurrier throughout his career, even purchasing a house in Durham, North Carolina when Spurrier was at Duke University.

"I wouldn't be totally shocked if Poppin' did this. He has been friends with Spurrier for so long, I think he'd do anything for him, including taking the fall for not voting for Tebow. It's sad to see, but there's also something good to say about an undying loyalty to a friend," said Herman Cain, a former vice-president at the Pillsbury Company.

"In fact, Poppin' Fresh may be Spurrier's only true friend left," Cain continued.

When asked about Poppin' Fresh's presence on campus in Columbia, South Carolina quarterback Stephen Garcia said, "Doughboy is always around during the football season. Sometimes him and coach will go to the basketball games and get drunk in the president's box. He's a cool guy, likes to party, but he's never too intrusive on the program."

Steve Spurrier is scheduled to speak at the annual SEC Media Days on Friday afternoon.

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